gah

Wow, so much on my mind. Mostly shit I know no one wants to hear about, so I'll put it here, since no one really reads this but me. So after a few months of being single, I met someone else. He seemed so perfect, but somethings telling me this is not going to work out at all. He's a third year med student, and is just incredible. His family is very sweet and welcoming, and he's a perfect gentleman. But he's so busy, I hardly ever get to see him, which is not my problem with the whole thing. I knew he was busy from the start. My issue is I don't deserve a guy like this, so why is he even wasting his time with me? I know he can do better, and I'm sure he knows that, too. I give up with the whole relationship thing. I honestly think I'm better off alone.

Well, on to work. For the most part, it's okay, but there are days I just want to scream. Like yesterday, for example. I'm no longer allowed to taste wine at work, even though it's part of my job, wait, let me re-phrase, was part of my job. Apparently someone got pissed off that I was allowed to taste wine and no one else is. Regardless of the fact this is what everyone was informed that I would be doing. It just fucking pissed me off. And then today the wine guy tells me he's certain I could do well with wines, and he thinks I'd be much happier in a wine shop than where I currently work. I can't argue with that, but whatever. Who am I to say anything? Oh, wait, I'm no one, it's all good. I just remembered my place in the world, thanks.

Ok, on to the horses. So Hilary wants to find a barn we can actually ride at and I agree with her. But it's such a pain in the ass to find a barn we can ride at and work off fairly cheap board. I would love to be able to ride again, but somehow, I just don't see that happening. I don't know, I think it's more along the lines of I have no show horse, why should I ride anymore....kinda thing. I'm just so frustrated with the horses right now, it's unreal.

On to college, or the lack thereof. I'm supposed to go back to MSU in January, but I"m really not certain that's something I want to go back to. I know I should finish my degree, but I dont' want to go back and take stupid classes that have nothing to do with my degree, or follow some ridiculous university degree guideline. I"m not allowed to take psychology because it's not a European study, and I don't particularly want to take history because I get enough of that in my German and Russian courses. I give up with this as well.

Oh, one final thing. I want an apartment, but don't have anyone to move in with. How much does that suck? Well, until I have more to pointlessly bitch about, auf wiedersehn.